O Divine Mother, Here Art Thou


In Loving Remembrance of She Who is Our Strength, Our Wisdom, Our Guide and the Love of Our Life

Divine Mother, Innermost Monad-Babe & Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world…our sins.

Today, March 29, 2020, the one-year anniversary of our biological mother’s death, we commemorate her death and all she did for us by offering you, dear reader, a meditation on the Divine Feminine aspect within all…our individual Divine Mother…so that you too, dear reader, may comprehend the importance of remembrance of She Who is your All.

“Devi or Sakti is the Mother of Nature. She is Nature Itself. The whole world is Her body. Mountains are Her bones. Rivers are Her veins. Ocean is Her bladder. Sun, moon are Her eyes. Wind is Her breath. Agni is Her mouth. She runs this world show. Sakti is symbolically female; but It is, in reality, neither male nor female. It is only a Force which manifests Itself in various forms. The five elements and their combinations are the external manifestations of the Mother. Intelligence, discrimination, psychic power, and will are Her internal manifestations.” —Swami Sivananda

(Source: https://gnosticteachings.org/glossary/d/3801-divine-mother.html )

Far from being some vanity project or exercise in sentimentality, this is a meditation of practical esotericism: revealing the more ‘mundane mysticism’ at work in our daily lives, which is, in our experience, where most miracles take place. However, cloaked in the familiar, the common, the ‘gross,’ the physical, the unwanted or the fleeting, they often pass by unnoticed by us. So many boons, gifts, tests, signs, etc., furnished upon us by the limitless selflessness of our individual Divine Mother: so many which we fail to register in the moment; see but remain indifferent to; recognize but quickly forget; or outright take for granted. Let this discourse be the beginning of the end of our ignorance and/or neglectful mindlessness of Her divine works on our behalf at all times.

The Mother of Serendipity

A search for the origins and etymology of the word serendipity, you will find no less than two explanations. The first being Horace Walpole’s supposed invention of the word in a 1754 letter to Horace Mann.

Her serene highness, the Great Duchess Bianca Capello, is arrived safe at a palace lately taken for her in Arlington Street … I have bespoken a frame for her, with the grand-ducal coronet at top, her story on a label at bottom, which Gray is to compose in Latin, as short and expressive as Tacitus … the Medici arms on one side, and the Capello’s on the other … in an old book of Venetian arms, there are two coats of Capello, who from their name bear a hat; on one of them is added a fleur-de-lis on a blue ball, which I am persuaded was given to the family by the Great Duke, in consideration of this alliance; the Medicis, you know, bore such a badge at the top of their own arms. This discovery I made by a talisman, which Mr. Chute calls the Sortes Walpoliance, by which I find every thing I want, a pointe nommée, whenever I dip for it. This discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word, which, as I have nothing better to tell you, I shall endeavor to explain to you: you will understand it better by the derivation than the definition. I once read a silly fairy tale, called “The Three Princes of Serendip”: as their Highnesses travelled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of: for instance, on the them discovered that a mule blinds of the right eye had travelled the same road lately, because the grass was eaten only on the left side, where it was worse than on the right—now do you understand Serendipity? One of the most remarkable instances of this accidental sagacity, (for you must observe that no discovery of a thing you are looking for comes under this description,) was of my Lord Shaftsbury, who, happening to dine at Lord Chancellor Clarendon’s, found out the marriage of the Duke of York and Mrs. Hyde, by the respect with which her mother treated her at table. – Horace Walpole

(Source: The Paris Review—The Invention of Serendipity)

However, Walpole’s coining of serendipity was only the fist known use of the term in the English language, according to Wikipedia:

[Serendipity] comes from Serendip, an old name for Sri Lanka (Ceylon), hence Sarandib by Arab traders.[4] It is derived from the Sanskrit Siṃhaladvīpaḥ (Siṃhalaḥ, Sri Lanka + dvīpaḥ, island).[5]

The Wikipedia entry goes on to suggest,

The word has been exported into many other languages, with the general meaning of “unexpected discovery” or “fortunate chance”.[6][7]

(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serendipity)

Do these explanations not fall flat and empty in your heart, dear reader? Perhaps we can help unpack the Sanskrit through its relationship with Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka relates to Simhalah and means, roughly, “resplendent;” dvīpaḥ relates to island. Resplendent Island. Now, consider, dear reader, that halah not only contains the universal Allah found in halal and hallelujah, but in the Hungarian hálla (“blessed; praise be”) and hallál (“death”). If you have read some of our other articles, particularly on The Folly of Avoiding Death, you will know that death is not something to be feared. Last, if we consider that sim in Sanskrit (from the proper name Asim) means “boundless, limitless” (Source: Pitarau). So, adding it all together, we arrive at Boundless Resplendent Island
as being contained within the original meaning/connotation of Serendip, about which the Persian fairy tale The Three Princes of Serendip revolves. Now there is a combination of words which rests more weightily within the heart than “unexpected discovery.” Let us meditate further on this phrase, dear reader, and see what fruits such analysis may bear (bare).

The Fruits of a Boundless Resplendent Island

One of the words you will hear used in association with Mother Nature is bounty. New Agers like to use the term abundance. One may find it serendipitous to note the name of the vessel involved in the infamous Victorian-era Mutiny on the Bounty (which later became a novel, and then several film adaptations), which took place in the South Pacific. Surely to a sailor on a vessel on the Pacific, it is the ocean itself which seems boundless, not the vessel. And what is a vessel if not a kind of moving island? We have mentioned before that all vessels are considered feminine: all ships, when Christened, are referred to thereafter as she, her, etc. The Bounty would have been no different. Besides, it is the boundless ocean which gives a vessel or island its bounty: the ocean is how a vessel gets from one resplendent island to the next, is it not? And no one can reasonably argue the inherent bounty within the depths of the ocean itself, without which not much could survive on any island; without which there would be no islands at all! A ‘boundless island’ is a moon, or a desert planet like Arakkis from Frank Herbert’s Dune. In many ways, then, the ocean is the womb from which islands are born and the nurturing bosom in which they are nursed. A vessel can be The Bounty only by virtue of the boundlessness of the ocean upon which it sails.


Mutineers turning Bligh and crew adrift, by Robert Dodd, 1790.
Source: Wikipidia > HMS Bounty

Let us mention, only briefly, that in the previously mentioned Mutiny on the Bounty, the leader of the mutiny is named Fletcher Christian, and the Ship’s Captain, the subject of the mutineers’ grievances, William Bligh. A fletcher is one who attaches the fins, flights or feathers to the shaft of arrows enabling them to fly. A Christian is, by all accounts, one who lives by the teachings of the Christ (The Logos; The Word…The Divine Law). The short form of William is Bill, and a bill sets out the law of the land. Bligh can be pronounced B-ligh (belie), which means to give a false impression of something; to disguise or contradict; and/or, to fail to fulfill or justify (a claim); betray (Source: Lexico powered by Oxford > belie). (As an aside, belie is the esoteric root word of belief, not to be confused with the exoteric root word of belief found in modern etymological dictionaries, which is explored in-depth on our YouTube video on The Hard Truth of Belief.)

So in this scenario from history, we have a fletcher who gives flight to Divine Law leading a mutiny against the false laws of men which betray It, upon a vessel whose name, Bounty, is not only directly related to the sea and Mother Nature, but which carries Christian and his fellow mutineers to truly resplendent islands in the South Pacific where they are greeted by boundless affection, female companionship and all the boundless gifts of said resplendent islands.

Remember, dear reader: Mutiny on the Bounty is not just a novel which has been adapted into films in 1935, starring Clark Gable and Charles Laughton; 1962, starring Marlon Brando and Trevor Howard; and 1984, starring Mel Gibson and Anthony Hopkins. It is a story based on actual events: meaning the names of Fletcher Christian and William Bligh were not dramatized by some novelist. Who then, orchestrated those names? And Who could have seen to it that those two serendipitously named individuals would find themselves living out their destiny aboard a ship in the South Pacific named Bounty? Is it a “lucky chance,” dear reader, that the assigned mission of the Bounty was to acquire breadfruit plants for British plantations in the West Indies? Or was all this something more…?


Serendipity Meme by Attlas Allux:

In the journey through the Darkwood, the cacophony of ego-mind obscures the way, tells us we are lost, and sends us in circles down the wrong paths. But if you observe yourself & remember your Self, you can still hear the whispers of the Still Soft Voice saying, “Come THIS way!”

Everyday, find ONE BREADCRUMB which says profoundly without any doubt: “this was put here for you.” With every morsel you consciously take it in, pausing to remember your Innermost Self and Divine Mother (who put it there for you), each crumb becomes a kingly feast; manna from heaven. Your comprehension of “give us this day our daily bread” deepens. This Holy Communion with Christ’s body guides you and nourishes you through the Darkwood as it did Hansel and Gretel.

Hopefully, dear reader, we have arrived at a truly more fulfilling and voluptuous explanation for the origin and genuine meaning of the term serendipity, pregnant with an abundance of love and nurturing Truth, as befits any bounty bestowed on us by Divine Mother Nature. Far from “lucky chance” or “unexpected discovery,” which are mere superficial intellectual ways of understanding the origins of the word, we have dove deeper into Her primordial waters and produced from the depths a fullness of meaning hitherto unexplored in such detail. For what historian, writer, director or actor has articulated the deeper purpose and meaning of The Mutiny on the Bounty? When we say the Living, Breathing Word of God is all around us, that is just what we mean. And when we consider the effort; the energy; the coordination and the conscious destiny of fates which had to take place to orchestrate an occurrence like said Mutiny, complete with its players, outcomes, legends and later dramatizations, we awaken to the profound realization:

The Logos can only become the Living, Breathing Word of God through and in the Boundless Resplendence of The Divine Mother.

Without Her intercession on Its behalf, The Logos is nothing. And if The Logos within us cannot enter the world through us, then we too are nothing…as empty and superficial as the intellectual explanations of the word serendipity itself: hollow shells devoid of any depth of meaning. We are just limeys and lackeys of the crown, blindly following the orders of our own Captain Bill Bligh.

Meme: The Bounty

The Three Princes of Serendip

We have not read the entirety of the Persian fairytale, but here is a synopsis, dear reader:

“In ancient times there existed in the country of Serendippo, in the Far East, a great and powerful king by the name of Giaffer. He had three sons who were very dear to him. And being a good father and very concerned about their education, he decided that he had to leave them endowed not only with great power, but also with all kinds of virtues of which princes are particularly in need.”

The father searches out the best possible tutors. “And to them he entrusted the training of his sons, with the understanding that the best they could do for him was to teach them in such a way that they could be immediately recognized as his very own.”

When the tutors are pleased with the excellent progress that the three princes make in the arts and sciences, they report it to the king. He, however, still doubts their training, and summoning each in turn, declares that he will retire to the contemplative life leaving them as king. Each politely declines, affirming the father’s superior wisdom and fitness to rule.

The king is pleased, but fearing that his sons’ education may have been too sheltered and privileged, feigns anger at them for refusing the throne and sends them away from the land.

The lost camel[edit]

No sooner do the three princes arrive abroad than they trace clues to identify precisely a camel they have never seen. They conclude that the camel is lame, blind in one eye, missing a tooth, carrying a pregnant woman, and bearing honey on one side and butter on the other. When they later encounter the merchant who has lost the camel, they report their observations to him. He accuses them of stealing the camel and takes them to the Emperor Beramo, where he demands punishment.

Beramo then asks how they are able to give such an accurate description of the camel if they have never seen it. It is clear from the princes’ replies that they have used small clues to infer cleverly the nature of the camel.

Grass had been eaten from the side of the road where it was less green, so the princes had inferred that the camel was blind on the other side. Because there were lumps of chewed grass on the road that were the size of a camel’s tooth, they inferred they had fallen through the gap left by a missing tooth. The tracks showed the prints of only three feet, the fourth being dragged, indicating that the animal was lame. That butter was carried on one side of the camel and honey on the other was evident because ants had been attracted to melted butter on one side of the road and flies t spilled honey on the other.

As for the woman, one of the princes said: “I guessed that the camel must have carried a woman, because I had noticed that near the tracks where the animal had knelt down the imprint of a foot was visible. Because some urine was nearby, I wet my fingers and as a reaction to its odour I felt a sort of carnal concupiscence, which convinced me that the imprint was of a woman’s foot.”

“I guessed that the same woman must have been pregnant,” said another prince, “because I had noticed nearby handprints which were indicative that the woman, being pregnant, had helped herself up with her hands while urinating.”

At this moment, a traveller enters the scene to say that he has just found a missing camel wandering in the desert. Beramo spares the lives of the three princes, lavishes rich rewards on them, and appoints them to be his advisors.

The story continues[edit]

The three princes have many other adventures, where they continue to display their sagacity, stories-within-stories are told, and, of course, there is a happy ending.[5]

(Source: Wikipedia > The Three Princes of Serendip).

It should be obvious by now to any practitioner of Gnosis (or follower of our blog) why the princes number in three as opposed to just one. Here are some reminders:

The Three Forces of Divine Masculine, Divine Feminine, and Union of Divine Masculine and Feminine are the Trinity or Tri-Unity of The Logos, or Cosmic Christ (which is not a man but a Force in the Universe)…the Divine Androgen.


The Law of Three (Forces) Meme by Attlas Allux

The wise King, “The Crown” & “Kether” on the Tree of Life, head of the Kingdom of Serendip, although pleased with his sons, knows he must send them away from the kingdom and their sheltered life to acquire Gnosis—their own experiential knowledge (wisdom)—in addition to their book learning.


Why East(er) Sun(day)? – “The Three Factors” Meme by Attlas Allux

The Christ can only be born in us, through us, via the Three Forces working harmoniously in The Three Factors of Evolution and Revolution of the Consciousness: Birth, Death and Sacrifice. Here again is the hidden meaning of Fletcher Christian and Bill Bligh: we must commit our own Mutiny on the Bounty, abandon the false laws of men which betray the True Law, and set sail on the boundless ocean in search of our own resplendent island where a new bounty of breadfruit awaits us. And herein lies the irony/paradox of the vessel we call Bounty: while under the command of Captain Blie and the false laws of men (egos), our three brains (heart, mind, body) betray us.

The Three Princes are well tutored but also overly sheltered…they have no bounty of Gnosis, or wisdom to call their own…they are bound to the kingdom and its wrote laws of the land, however well studied. Their father knows they must depart the royal court and contrives his own rebellious act to force them to go seek their destiny in the world by the hand of fate on the boundless ocean with the help of their Divine Mother, rather than languish in the golden structures and expected duties handed down to them by tradition, where their comfortable and sheltered existence will no doubt cause them to devolve into spoiled, entitled, jealous, clever and ultimately traitorous sons.


The Three Traitors Meme by Attlas Allux

And herein lies the dual-nature of our own Bounty: if we follow the commands of the false self, our Inner Captain Bligh with his countless rules and regulations, we may think we are loyal, but we are acting in fear of retribution and/or loyalty to a false flag, the we will justify and rationalize it based on the wrote laws of men (or worse, “natural laws” of mechanical nature)…all we’re doing is parroting the rationalizations of our inner egos. In doing so, we belie (betray) our True Selves! Our Innermost King and the Resplendent Island of Serendip can never be ruled by three such princes, so their Father, King of Resplendence, sends them on a treacherous journey on the boundless sea to find their own bounty and the path of serendipity.


The Path is Treacherous Meme by Attlas Allux

Three princes: Three Forces, Three Factors, Three Brains on the Path of Three Mountains…made treacherous by Three Traitors.

It is on their journey that they discover a man (masculine) separated from his camel and pregnant wife (feminine & union…the unborn child). The three princes serendipitously discover clues as to the existence of a three-legged camel carrying butter, honey and a pregnant woman. When they inform the man, he takes them before the Emperor as thieves; but when their reports of this bountiful beast of burden (a vessel in its own right) are proven to be true and the man and his wife, child, bounty and the three-legged animal/vessel are all united in the presence of the Emperor, the three princes are made the Emperor’s advisors: they are elevated as servants to a great monarch (they become ‘upright 9’s’):


Esoteric Significance of 9-9-9 Meme by Attlas Allux

In other words, the three princes are tested. They face ordeals, trials, tribulations and are evaluated on the outcome of their tests. If they put others ahead of themselves, they earn the right to enter the service of the Emperor (their Innermost Being).

In the service of the Emperor the three princes have many serendipitous adventures, earning the respect of the Emperor, by embodying and exercising their Father’s wisdom, the King of Serendip (the Father of their Innermost’s, Innermost, The Crown, Kether on the Tree of Life), and can return triumphant to The Kingdom of Serendip (The Absolute) and rule with confidence and wisdom; the three adventuring, returning and ruling triumphantly as one (The Christ).

We reiterate: the story of the Three Princes of Serendip features: Three Forces, Three Factors, Three Brains on the Path of Three Mountains…made treacherous by Three Traitors.

The Three and the Five in the One

Here we call upon the wisdom of The Avatar of Aquarious, Master Samael Aun Weor, to illuminate us on the five aspects of our Divine Mother:

“Devi Kundalini, the Consecrated Queen of Shiva, our personal Divine Cosmic Individual Mother, assumes five transcendental mystic aspects in every creature, which we must enumerate:

1. The unmanifested Prakriti

2. The chaste Diana, Isis, Tonantzin, Maria or better said Ram-Io

3. The terrible Hecate, Persephone, Coatlicue, queen of the infernos and death; terror of love and law

4. The special individual Mother Nature, creator and architect of our physical organism

5. The Elemental Enchantress to whom we owe every vital impulse, every instinct.” —Samael Aun Weor, The Mystery of the Golden Blossom

“Among the Aztecs, she was known as Tonantzin, among the Greeks as chaste Diana. In Egypt she was Isis, the Divine Mother, whose veil no mortal has lifted. There is no doubt at all that esoteric Christianity has never forsaken the worship of the Divine Mother Kundalini. Obviously she is Marah, or better said, RAM-IO, MARY. What orthodox religions did not specify, at least with regard to the exoteric or public circle, is the aspect of Isis in her individual human form. Clearly, it was taught only in secret to the Initiates that this Divine Mother exists individually within each human being. It cannot be emphasized enough that Mother-God, Rhea, Cybele, Adonia, or whatever we wish to call her, is a variant of our own individual Being in the here and now. Stated explicitly, each of us has our own particular, individual Divine Mother.” —Samael Aun Weor, The Great Rebellion

(Source: https://gnosticteachings.org/glossary/d/3801-divine-mother.html )

Suffice it to say there are thousands upon hundreds of thousands of words/pages/books which have been and could be written about the Nature of our Divine Mother. The whole of Rumi’s poetic legacy is devoted to Her; to his unending love for Her (and Hers for us). There is no way we can do justice to Her in this article in any sort of comprehensive sense. No. But what we can do is offer you something no one else can: insight into our very personal individuated experience of Our Divine Mother’s Love as experienced through the suffering and sacrifice of our own birth Mother, who died one year ago today of Stage Four Kidney Cancer.

Personal Testimony of Our Divine Mother’s Love

If you are at all familiar with our words and works, dear reader, you know that they often fall on the side of “tough love.” Whether on our blog or in Facebook groups, we don’t pussy-foot around the issues at hand. We tell people what they need to hear, whether they want to hear it or not. We have no fear of their clever retorts or venomous retributions. We’re not here to win any popularity contests. We don’t fool around in matters relating to the immortal souls of individuals, and our Innermost Being’s mission which is to help as many of those souls as possible awaken and Self-realize. In the age we live in now, it takes a warrior’s hand and a heavy dose of tough love. It’s just how it is. But there’s seems to be a problem with that…

What about mercy? What happened to the soft-spoken, mild-mannered, infinitely compassionate side of unconditional love? Believe us when we say, dear reader, that our daily dishing out of an abundance of severity was beginning to weigh heavy on our heart-mind…are we deficient somehow? Are we lacking in the unlimited compassion of unconditional love that we seem to only have tough love to give? These questions constituted no small burden on our shoulders. Our Demon of Fear (specifically, fear of failing), was exploiting the situation to cast doubts in our mind as to the legitimacy of our path and our work on behalf of others.

Then, a little over a year ago, our mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Kidney Cancer. We may at some future point describe in greater detail the nature of her illness (which we may do at some point in the context of the “Cough-19” hysteria of 2020), but that is not what matters right now. What matters now is what mattered then: how we responded to our mother’s illness and how we saw our response through the end of her life to this moment, here and now.

From the moment our mother was diagnosed to the moment she passed away, she could do no wrong in our eyes. Nothing she said or did could upset, frighten, anger, frustrate, or otherwise disturb us. For the two months during which her health rapidly deteriorated and her reliance on our 24-7 care increased, she simply received nothing but unwavering compassion, assistance and care from us. Unlimited unconditional mercy flowed out of us from a wellspring deep within…a hidden, rarely tapped fountain of sweet ambrosia which treated our suffering mother’s body and nourished her soul.

When she incessantly complained about her pain or the discomfort of her chair and how she needed another pillow; her state of denial and her insistence that she was going to get better; her refusal to eat because of the texture, temperature, flavor of—or her lack of appetite for—what we’d prepared for her; the sudden crash and mayhem in the middle of the night when fell out of bed or off the toilet making a mess of urine or feces on the floor…it simply was what it was. She was our mother, and we had nothing but mercy for her; not so much as a harsh word did we utter toward her or about her. She was still the beautiful, radiant, loving and giving woman who brought us into the world and showed us what it meant to care for others. And whatever the situation, she and it was somehow perfect: “it is what it is.”

She just kind of wound up here in our care, as we did once upon a time in hers: a helpless child, incapable of even the most basic functions or coordination of the physical body. Having no children of our own, we briefly experienced what it must be like to have someone totally reliant on you for their wellbeing. And we simply had no option…it never even entered into our mind to deny her whatever she needed or wanted to help ease her suffering / discomfort and make it through this, the final act of her life.

So when she was in the hospital for the last time, and the priest came by from the Hungarian church to give her the last rites in her native language, she turned to me and said, “son, I’m afraid.” In that moment we realized that her denial evaporated, and in the harsh light of the Truth—she was dying—the contemplation of her own mortality and the imminent arrival of the angel of death weighed heavily on her heart. She had not taken any of the prior two months (let alone 72 years) to prepare for the inevitable. Now, she turned to us, in her moment of weakness and frailty for help.

We could not let her down.

We hastily shewed away nurses and those family members whose presence would not be suitable energetically for what was about to take place (atheists and cynics please wait outside, thank you). We asked the priest to sit on one side of Mama’s bed and we sat on the other. We took his hand and had him take one of Mama’s hands; we held the other, palm to palm, right over left, forming a chain for our energies to flow as a current—Three as one. And we prayed, not to some far-off entity, no man in the clouds, no mystical feminine figure of the Orient, not even to our own Innermost. No, we prayed in Hungarian to our Divine Mother, looking deep into our terrestrial mother’s eyes…for in that moment they were One and the same, here and now:

Holy, Blessed Dear Mother,
You who have given us everything,
Your whole life, without question and without fail,
Without ever asking anything in return,
Be not afraid.
We are here to relay a Divine Message of hope to you in your time of need.
Fear not. For the angels of heaven are preparing for your arrival,
And above their preparations and commotion a great exhalation can be heard:
“Roll out the red carpet and prepare the largest gate,
For a GIANT among women will soon be joining us!”
And the angels and cherubs are busy tuning their instruments, Mama,
So upon your arrival Heaven’s orchestra will play Beethoven’s Ninth,
And a choir of a thousand angels will sing the Ode to Joy,
And all of Heaven will rejoice:
“Our Sister has returned!
Our Mother has returned!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Amen. Amen. Amen.”

And our mother, whose eyes had not left ours, replied with serenity and solemnity:

“Son, I am not afraid anymore.”

And we held that moment, she and I, for what may as well have been an eternity, until the silence was broken by the Priest, who added,

“May this prophecy come true as spoken, in the name of Christ, Amen.”

And with that, we lent down and kissed her forehead, and left her in peace so the priest could proceed to confer upon her the Last Rites in private, in accordance with the Catholic tradition our mother followed.

The Last Word

Some 24 hours later, in the middle of the night she awoke disoriented and in pain. We had received the okay from the supervising physician to increase her morphine dosage, knowing full well at that point she would likely lose consciousness. We alone were the sole family member with her as the nurse administered the syringe; holding her hand and stroking the inside of her forearm tenderly as we often did throughout her final weeks whenever we gave her insulin shots (the cancer had exacerbated her diabetes). As we did so, she stared deeply into our eyes and spoke, again, calmly with affection and a serene certainty:

“That’s good, son…that’s good. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing good.”

These were our mother’s final words to us (or to anyone) on this earth. She slipped into a morphine-induced sleep which she wouldn’t wake from and which she would suffer through for several more days before her heart finally gave out. And these words were not just those of my birth mother, no. As before, as we looked into each other’s eyes, they were words spoken by our Divine Mother, this time emanating from Mama: “don’t worry, you’re on the right path…keep going.”

The Greatest Sacrifice

This was my mother’s final gift to us: her suffering, sacrifice and death so we could embody unlimited compassion and mercy and see for ourselves that we are indeed capable of both mercy and severity, and that either flows through us AS-NEEDED; as called for by the circumstances and the needs of others. And of course, the confirming / affirming words of our Divine Mother, who spoke to us through our Mama: that we are on the right path; to keep doing what we’re doing, and by extension, to not give into the fear and self-doubt that we had been harboring for some time due to the necessity of constant tough-love dished out to those in need of it.

Like most people, we cannot do justice to our mother and the lifetime of service and sacrifice she lived for our sake. Similarly, we cannot begin to describe all that our Divine Mother has done for us: including all the tests, trials, tribulations, etc.; but also, the boons, gifts, miracles, and serendipitous happenings. But on this day, the one-year anniversary of Mama’s passing, we at least hope to leave you, dear reader, with a glimpse of the immense energy, effort, and unconditional love your own Divine Mother exerts on your behalf in your own life; devoted to your libertation.

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Lest We Forget

Nations observe Remembrance Day with the epitaph “Never Forget,” in honor of all the men and women who gave their lives in the defense of their liberty.

How is it possible, then, dear brothers and sisters, that we can go through our lives, moment by moment, without living in constant remembrance of our own Divine Mother who gives all that She has, all that She is, and all that She can ever hope to become to us for our sake: everything we NEED on the path to the kingdom. She alone holds the fledgling Monad-babe within us. She alone, Divine Mother Devi Kundalini Shakti bestows Her unconditional love as severity and mercy upon us and She alone seeks to rise up our spinal column an “upright nine” toward the crown chakra to unite with Her husband, the Holy Spirit, so the Fires of the Divine Feminine can unite in “immaculate conception” with the Fires of the Divine Masculine to give rise to the Fire of the Fires and the Light of Lights of the Cosmic Christ: The Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world…our sins…our egos.

Remember your Divine Mother.

Eulogy for Katalin Zsuzsanna Lendvai,
Born: August 22, 1946; Died: March 29, 2019

Katalin left us on March 29th, 2019. At the time of her passing her husband of 54 years, Louis, held her hand tightly in his, just as she had held his life tightly in hers, as she had held her family tightly together, and as she had kept so many firmly in her heart. Katalin was the foundation and mortar which held all whom she touched close together under a single roof of unconditional love. From the countless meals she prepared and served with joy—even for her pets—to the endless stream of customers she served working part-time as a retail sales clerk, to the innumerable hand-written letters and cards she mailed, Katalin gave of herself endlessly without ever asking anything in return. She lived to serve and showed her love through service.

From her troubled childhood days in Communist Hungary to her days as a young immigrant, homemaker and mother in Canada, right through her retirement days, Katalin’s life was defined by the work she did to care for her family and all those who crossed her path. She cared so much for so many. Hers could not be considered an easy life by any measure, but as a life lived in service and sacrifice for others hers was considerably noble and beautiful in every way.

Born into a noble family in Budapest, Hungary on August 22nd, 1946, Katalin had to grow up fast. Her Parents incarcerated, her family’s assets seized by the Communist Party, Katalin found herself looking after her cousin George, whom she always treated as a younger brother. By the time Katalin’s parents were released following the 1956 Revolution, she was all grown up. Due to the political strife in her family, Katalin was barred from attending university and prevented from pursuing a career in teaching.

Shortly thereafter at the age of 19, she met the love of her life, Louis. Seven weeks later they were married and together they resolved to leave the political turmoil of Hungary behind them and never look back, only forward. In 1967, career opportunities allowed Louis and Katalin to leave for Austria, where they enjoyed their new-found freedom together with a brief taste of the high-life: attending the opera which was a life-long passion for Katalin and walking the ancient cobblestone streets of Vienna past gourmet cafes and high-class boutiques. Katalin also began studying to become a teacher. But their time in Austria soon came to an end.

The Czechoslovakian Revolution erupted in 1968 and Katalin and Louis had to flee the good life for the great unknown ahead. But their courage and resolve were strong. Even then there was nothing Katalin wouldn’t sacrifice for the sake of her family’s future. They arrived in Canada, where they would remain and raise their family over the next 50 years. First in Windsor, then Toronto, and finally Guelph. No matter where they found themselves, Katalin was as quick to make friends as she was masterful at keeping lifelong friendships. All who knew her cherished her strength, vivacity, devotion, good humour, and ability to make time for them under any circumstances—she was never too busy or too tired for you. Katalin was dependable, fiercely loyal, and her energy and vitality seemed limitless in both word and deed. Katalin thoroughly enjoyed working in customer service, and she would eventually earn a diploma in human resources management. While never realizing her dream of becoming a schoolteacher, having worked alongside her at K-Mart for over 8 years, I can say she taught many a person a great many things—be they green part-time employees like myself, or long-time customers of the store. I can recall people coming to the garden centre just to get Katalin’s advice. She loved gardening and tending to everything from bright red muskatli to ripe red paprika.

Katalin loved life and the fine arts, classical music, and culture. Her quiet time was spent with the great masters of sound, stage and screen, and the timeless beauty and universal Truths expressed through their work inspired her and empowered her to live out own glorious epic. Katalin’s life was a true masterpiece.

And although her life may have come to an end, there is no curtain call for her love; her masterwork in giving plays on—in the memories of her which she gave us, the children she brought into the world, the grandchild she adored so much, her loving husband of 54 years, and all who were touched by her…all are living testaments to Katalin’s love, selflessness, and devotion which endure…and we do our best, inspired by the memory of Katalin’s life, to carry on her legacy of service and sacrifice for others, in love.

Mama, you will be missed, but not forgotten.

Given at her funeral at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, Guelph ON.


In loving memory of Katalin Zsuzsanna Lendvai, beloved wife, mother, grandmother and friend.

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